|
FML
Jun 4, 2009 2:06:45 GMT -5
Post by moon yagami on Jun 4, 2009 2:06:45 GMT -5
Check to see if this one has been submitted yet...
"Today my sister blamed me for clogging the toilet, the only problem is I was at work when said incident happened... I am a plumber. FML"
^ I submitted this fake one
|
|
|
FML
Jun 4, 2009 10:17:21 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on Jun 4, 2009 10:17:21 GMT -5
^ Ahah. Nice.
|
|
|
FML
Jun 4, 2009 15:09:27 GMT -5
Post by AhkneeKitteen on Jun 4, 2009 15:09:27 GMT -5
I'm seriously going to need to keep refreshing on the site through the day to see if that makes it.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
FML
Jun 5, 2009 18:08:07 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2009 18:08:07 GMT -5
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML
|
|
|
FML
Jun 5, 2009 23:26:50 GMT -5
Post by AhkneeKitteen on Jun 5, 2009 23:26:50 GMT -5
... that last one depressed me severely. POOR SPARROW BABY. Suicidal birdie?
|
|
|
FML
Jun 5, 2009 23:33:23 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on Jun 5, 2009 23:33:23 GMT -5
I'm sorry, I laughed at the sparrow one. >>;
|
|
|
FML
Jun 5, 2009 23:37:02 GMT -5
Post by AhkneeKitteen on Jun 5, 2009 23:37:02 GMT -5
It was kinda funny. Y'know, in a morbid, ironic way.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
FML
Jun 6, 2009 23:28:58 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2009 23:28:58 GMT -5
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, at work, my ipod was stolen from my desk when I was away. I work in a police station. FML
BONUS: Because this kind of thing happened to me before.
Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML (I thought I had a medium, but it was a large)
|
|
|
FML
Jun 7, 2009 1:05:17 GMT -5
Post by AhkneeKitteen on Jun 7, 2009 1:05:17 GMT -5
That dog one was nasty D:
|
|
|
FML
Jun 7, 2009 15:58:20 GMT -5
Post by Brianna (Galaxia_15) on Jun 7, 2009 15:58:20 GMT -5
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML Today, at work, my ipod was stolen from my desk when I was away. I work in a police station. FML BONUS: Because this kind of thing happened to me before. Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML (I thought I had a medium, but it was a large)ROFL AT THOSE!!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
FML
Jun 10, 2009 19:16:47 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2009 19:16:47 GMT -5
Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML
Today, I checked facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
This one was awful, but it needs to be categorized under, "WTF are they teaching these kids?" Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door "Are you jacking off in there or something?!" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
|
|
|
FML
Jun 10, 2009 20:49:30 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on Jun 10, 2009 20:49:30 GMT -5
^ Ouch at the last one. D: Wtf. And ew at the boner one >_<
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
FML
Jun 10, 2009 22:19:49 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2009 22:19:49 GMT -5
The third one made me ROFL so bad.
|
|
|
FML
Jun 10, 2009 23:05:25 GMT -5
Post by AhkneeKitteen on Jun 10, 2009 23:05:25 GMT -5
That third one was hilarious. The last one was worrisome.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
FML
Jun 12, 2009 19:06:39 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2009 19:06:39 GMT -5
That's the kids today. If I caught my kids saying that, I'd smack them... althought that's not the best thing to do... ANYWAY, MORE FML!
Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first random girl he saw. FML
Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiance had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML
(Particularly awful batch today, huh? Which one's worst? I'm going with the last one.)
|
|