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FML
May 20, 2009 10:58:56 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on May 20, 2009 10:58:56 GMT -5
AWWWW. ...Grandmas use FML?
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Deleted
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FML
May 20, 2009 16:46:12 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on May 20, 2009 16:46:12 GMT -5
^Apparently so.
Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML (what an asshole... >.<)
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML (Now that's funny!)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML (>.<)
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FML
May 20, 2009 17:59:55 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on May 20, 2009 17:59:55 GMT -5
I don't know how to swim. It's kinda embarrassing to admit. ;; And wow, what a bitch gf.
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FML
May 21, 2009 2:06:50 GMT -5
Post by AhkneeKitteen on May 21, 2009 2:06:50 GMT -5
I didn't know how to swim until I was twelve. I had to frequent my friend's apartment pool to learn over summer, haha.
... I don't know how to ride a bike, though orz
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FML
May 21, 2009 10:33:32 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on May 21, 2009 10:33:32 GMT -5
^ Me too. I don't know how to operate things on wheels. Bikes, skates, ... ): AND I can't swim. WHO'S THE LAME ONE NOW T_T
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FML
May 22, 2009 0:29:00 GMT -5
Post by AhkneeKitteen on May 22, 2009 0:29:00 GMT -5
I learned how to roller skate and ice skate when I was twelve, also. Hahaha. They were part of my gym classes up until the end of middle school.
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Deleted
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FML
May 22, 2009 17:45:05 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on May 22, 2009 17:45:05 GMT -5
Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML
Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind where it still functions . There are no funds to give out paychecks any time soon. They won't fire me. If I voluntarily quit, I cannot file for unemployment. I'm now an unpaid intern. FML
Today, my mom and I went to the store. I asked her to go get me coconut smelling shampoo and tampons while I lingered by the magazines trying to talk to this cute guy. My mom comes around into our aisle and says "I smelled all the tampons and none smelled like coconut, so I just got you these" FML
And finally, this guy wins "Bastard of the Year". This one was undoubtedly one of the WORST FML's I've seen:
Today, I had to break the news to my husband that I had miscarried our first child. To which he replied, "Thank God" and told me he wanted a divorce. FML
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FML
May 22, 2009 20:01:29 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on May 22, 2009 20:01:29 GMT -5
^ onoez! D:
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FML
May 24, 2009 14:10:04 GMT -5
Post by Brianna (Galaxia_15) on May 24, 2009 14:10:04 GMT -5
LOL @ the coconut tampons. Anyway, that guy sounds really mean. But it sounds like something I would say if I was pregnant and miscarried, minus the divorce part, because I don't want kids.
It's sort of good she miscarried though, especially since he wanted a divorce. Being prego in the middle of a divorce sounds like it would suck.
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FML
May 24, 2009 20:32:17 GMT -5
Post by moon yagami on May 24, 2009 20:32:17 GMT -5
FML is really fucked up... is this shit for real? it all feels like made up stories, like the penthouse forum. (I'm 19 and can legally buy it so SHADDUP!)
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FML
May 24, 2009 21:28:06 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on May 24, 2009 21:28:06 GMT -5
Made up or not, they sure make you feel better about your own lives. Heh.
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FML
May 24, 2009 22:50:40 GMT -5
Post by Sovereign on May 24, 2009 22:50:40 GMT -5
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML <- ; Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML <-Idiot. Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML <-LOL.
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FML
May 25, 2009 11:31:18 GMT -5
Post by Serenity on May 25, 2009 11:31:18 GMT -5
^ Omg, those are hilarious! xD
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FML
May 25, 2009 17:38:50 GMT -5
Post by moon yagami on May 25, 2009 17:38:50 GMT -5
I think I'm going to submit one to see if they really take it... a lot of these feel like duplicates
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Deleted
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FML
May 25, 2009 20:33:09 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on May 25, 2009 20:33:09 GMT -5
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple stops, he proceeds to get off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML <--That bites
Today, I was writing a huge paper for a class as our last grade. My dog starts scratching himself. He hit the power button on the computer. Nothing was saved. FML <--Idiot
Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML <--O__O
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