... glad to see I'm not the only one with the monkeys on typewriters theory. Also, lol at the Sailor Moon reference.
That book, ohgod I don't even
The Host
Chapter 4: Dreamed
I've got motherfucking Cowboy Bebop: Knockin' on Heaven's door playing on TV. I will look at it every time I get mad from shit plot and all that comes with it.
THIS OPENING SENTENCE
I HATE IT
It is too dark to be so hot, or maybe too hot to be so dark.Someone's obviously never been without electric in the middle of summer at night while trying to sleep, eh?
I don't know what the tuck is happening here. I am so confused because suddenly we have the setting happening in what I can presume is a house and there's a swamp cooler blowing fsdlkjdf Referencing to the chapter title, I figure dear Wanderer is having a dream from Melanie's POV - as such, Melanie is hungry.
... yeah, Melanie's POV. She's out to steal some food, I presume, from the house of a relatively old couple who have been taken as hosts. She notes that they keep the human habits so perfectly that it's hard to tell who's been taken and who hasn't - how the souls won in the first place.
She uses the crack from the sliding doors to get in (that's how swamp coolers work, FYI: you should always leave a door or window cracked) and bolts for the fridge where she ... uses her toe to keep the light off. I ... I dunno, I haven't used any real newfangled fridges or anything like that so, like, does the door light have its source on the bottom or something on those models? Because I know for sure the light switch in the ... y'know, more traditional fridges is at the top in pretty much every case :U Anyway, apparently this was enough to ruin her night vision (... truth, actually, right here) so she grabs and identifies everything by feel. I ... how is that possible? What?
She is caught because she doesn't pay much attention to shit and hey, Spike is a motherfucking badass can I just say? Erm, anyway, she finds herself pressed up against someone with a knife to her throat. He somehow thinks she's a seeker or some shit so she decides to just slam an elbow into the dude's gut which ends up hurting her more than him because he's got IRON ABS.
... those must be some really prominent and intense abs in order for it to do all pain to her but none to him.
Someone's been watching some Miss Congeniality. Hello, SING! Solar plexus, instep, nose, groin!
She thinks he's also an alien and figures even they must have some crazy folks considering how he's acting. He ... what was I saying I got distracted by Ed's encounter with the tranny. Oh, right, he suddenly feels at her neck and figures out Melanie's not one of them. ?He spins her around and KABLAM KISSY POO. Of course she's never had a real kiss in her life (yay Mormon life!). She flips the fuck out and decides to skip the N part in SING by bringing her knee up real sharply.
Melanie takes the chance to run like a motherfucking dolt, not believing this guy when he yells after her that he's human. She brings up a little note that her father used to say she ran like a cheetah and how she was the fastest in her high school track team and a state champ. Pfffft of course. Bloody of course. What next, you're an expert in parkour?
The guy launches a ... oh hot
fuck this movie it's been so long since I've seen it 8'D flsdfkj - manages to pin her down and straddles her, managing to smush her food which she should be less angry about seeing as he actually caught up to her and got her down :T He shines a flashlight in his eyes because apparently there's something fucked up with the eyes of those possessed and she demands to see his neck. He admits to having a scar there that he made himself to blend in better and ...
... why. That is such a lethal thing to do. Idiot characters, I hate you all.
This man is Jared. JARED HOWE. JARED, HOWE DID YOU LOSE THE WEIGHT? WITH SUBWAY OF COURSE. *shot* He says he hasn't spoken to another actual human in two years. He gets offa her and she lets him help her to his feet.
She starts to immediately trust him just because he's human and hey, how can she not when they're on the brink of extinction HEY WAIT A MINUTE.
HOMOSAPIENS STILL EXIST. THEY HAVE JUST BEEN POSSESSED BY A BUNCH OF SENTIENT GLOWING BALLS OF LIGHT.
THAT MEANS YOU'RE NOT ON THE BRINK OF EXTINCTION.
YOUR SPECIES IS STILL FLOURISHING AND THERE'S BEEN NOT ALTERATIONS TO YOUR BIOLOGY AS FAR AS WE KNOW.
...I forgot how bloody this movie was. See, I knew this would be a good distraction!
He wants her to wait for him there if she won't come with him, but she points out that her little brother Jamie is alone and so very very hungry and waiting for her. He offers to give her a ride if he waits to get more food for
them. She agrees, and he asks her not to kick him again as he leans in for another kiss.
Goddammit Meyer, I'm tired of you and your need to have motherfucking romance happen everywhere for everyone >:T I can kinda understand here, though ... I mean, I guess ... no. No. I don't believe humans have sex as an instinct to carry on race. We just do it because it feels good, even if we were to ever hit a point where we were going to die out.
She reaches to feel his features, fingers trailing to where they run over the scar on his neck. This causes Wanderer to wake up covered in sweat. She notes that before she even woke up her own fingers had been touching her own scar, and it's a barely there mark - so Jared's own scar would never have been a good disguise.
Several months have passed. If I were keeping a tally of Meyer's horrendous time skips, they would start here. It's still very early so she decides to just get up and do her job. She heads to the computer and opens her mail program, sending off the information she now knows about Jamie. Melanie protests loudly as soon as the email is sent. Wanderer is hit by the urge to send out another email to her Seeker to disregard the message entirely because it was only some crazy dream and she was half awake while typing it.
She cuts that urge off because it's not her own and turns off the computer. Melanie tells her that she hates her, so Wanderer retalieates by telling her to get the fuck outta her head. She notes that Melanie hasn't spoken to her since the implant, and that she was undoubtedly getting stronger. Wanderer is feels great humiliation at the thought of needing to see her Comforter tomorrow because of this situation.
What the fuck is a Comforter for? Comforting? Y'all must really suck at dealing with emotions.
She crawls back into bed and puts a pillow over her head in what I can only hope is an attempt at death by asphyxiation.
Ah, this movie has kept my spirits up. That said, you know who's a better character than this chick? You wanna know?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING AWESOME CORGI I get more character out of this dog in like 100 minutes of screentime than I probably will out of these characters in this entire book.
holy fuck what the hell have you done to your image search Google?!